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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29802579">An Idol You Can Be Proud Of</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LenOnTheDoor/pseuds/LenOnTheDoor'>LenOnTheDoor</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Love Live! School Idol Festival ALL STARS (Video Game), ラブライブ! 虹ヶ咲学園スクールアイドル同好会 | Love Live! Nijigasaki Gakuen School Idol Doukoukai (Anime)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Emma come home, F/F, possible OOC?, so much pain, there is no comfort only hurt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:42:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,224</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29802579</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LenOnTheDoor/pseuds/LenOnTheDoor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A sort of AU ficlet where it’s Emma who joins the association instead of Karin.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Asaka Karin/Emma Verde</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“O-oh. So, you’ll be off?”</p><p>“Just for a little while Karin.” Emma still had that same bubbly smile she always wore around Karin. She had just announced that she would join Shioriko, Ai, and Shizuku in joining Lanzhu’s School Idol Associate. “Lanzhu tells me I have what it takes to become an amazing idol, but there are tips and tricks I may need to learn because I’m not Japanese.”
</p><p>
Unfortunately, that was to some degree true. Emma was still a beloved member of the Nijigasaki school idol club who had plenty of adoring fans, but she was considerably less popular than her 9 other peers and was still rather inexperienced with a lot of things. Karin didn’t have any way to retort this fact and knew how badly Emma wanted to overcome it.
</p><p>
“I see.” That was all Karin could say in that moment. “Then go for it Emma. I’ll be cheering you on every step of the way!” She said this with the brighter smile but was incredibly worried and sad deep down. 
</p><p>
“Thank you Karin! I won’t disappointed you, or the others!” Emma had a confident fire in her eyes that said she was ready to go at this challenge with everything she had. And with that, she turned around and made her way to the association, ready for the challenge. 
</p><p>
Karin followed soon after calling out and waving to Emma. “Emma wait!” 
</p><p>
“Karin?”
</p><p>
“Don’t forget to visit us when you got the time!” 
</p><p>
“Of course!” Emma then continued off. “I love you sweetheart!”
</p><p>
“Love you too!” 
</p><p>
Karin turned around. With Emma now out of sight, she let her smile fade and transform into a small frown. Emma wouldn’t be here as often, and that meant no more stories about Switzerland. No more hand holding on the couch. No more Emma and Karin working on costumes together. Karin hoped to good this would be temporary. 
</p><p>
—————————
</p><p>
(2 weeks later)

Karin and Emma had hardly spent any time together. They hadn’t been in a major fight or anything of the sort, but their conflicting schedules had hardly given them a chance to sit down and have any time for themselves, let alone any time to spend with each other. So when Emma invited her and Kasumi to check out the association, Karin jumped at the chance without a second thought. 

</p><p>“And this is where Lanzhu, Mia, and the rest of us mix our songs and see what sounds the best.” Emma had led them to the studio. Karin and Kasumi where in awe at how advanced this technology was, but more importantly how much Emma had grown as an idol. Emma had shown them her new dancing skills before this and they were equally amazed there.</p><p>“Amazing.” Karin didn’t know what else to say.</p><p>“It is, isn’t it Karin? I told you, I’ll make good on my promises to be an idol you all and I can be proud of!”</p><p>“A little too late for that.” Kasumi mumbled under her breath. She was still incredibly hurt that several of her friends had decided to join Lanzhu’s association and was feeling abandoned and angry.</p><p>“Hm? Kasumi did you say someone?”</p><p>“Uh- Shes feeling a little unwell! She ate some bad bread and wants to go home!” Karin did her best to throw Emma off and descalate any oncoming tension. “Sorry sweetie but we gotta be off! We’ll see you next time!”</p><p>“Bye Karin! Bye Kasumi! I miss you all!”</p><p>“We miss you too!”</p><p>Karin dragged Kasumi by her ear all the way back to the club room.</p><p>“What the hell was that?!” Karin stared at Kasumi with crossed arms and a disappointed look on her face.</p><p>“I didn’t want to be there and you knew it Karin! I didn’t want to be around those- THOSE TRAITORS!”</p><p>Karin sighed, doing what she could to hide her frustrations. “They aren’t traitors, Kasumi. They didn’t abandon us, they’re just checking out the club for various reasons. They’ll be back before you know it.”</p><p>“Yeah keep telling yourself that, sweetheart.”</p><p>“Excuse me?”</p><p>“I’ll be cheering you on every step of the way!” Kasumi mimicked Karin with a mocking tone.</p><p>“So, you heard huh?”</p><p>“Pathetic.”</p><p>“Come again?!”</p><p>“It’s pathetic! How could you do easily just let her walk out of your life like that?!”</p><p>“Kasumi stop exaggerating-“</p><p>“Two weeks we haven’t seen her or the others Karin! TWO FUCKING WEEKS!”</p><p>“Yes I know-“</p><p>“We worked with her for so long and she just ditched us for an oh so fancier club! Like a stupid dog!”</p><p>Karin’s blood began to boil at this point. “Kasumi. Dont you dare-“</p><p>“What? I’m just saying it like it is! She up and abandoned us!”</p><p>“Kasumi.” Karin’s voice was grown angrier.</p><p>“She never cared for us!”</p><p>“Stop it.”</p><p>“AND YOU EVIDENTLY NEVER CARED ABOUT HER!”</p><p>“THATS ENOUGH!!!” Before Kasumi knew it, she was slapped clear across the face with enough strength that it knocked her to the floor with a loud thud. </p><p>“WHY THE HELL ARENT YOU LOOKING AT THE BIGGER PICTURE YOU SELFISH BRAT?!!!” Karin was staring down at Kasumi with a look of pure anger.</p><p>“YOU DONT THINK I MISS HER?! DO YOU?! OF COURSE I FUCKING MISS HER! I HATE THAT I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO SEE HER THESE PAST TWO WEEKS! I HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO JUST SIT WITH HER ON THE COUCH AND TALK ABOUT WHATEVER WE WANT! ITS BEEN MISERABLE!”
</p><p>“WELL THEN WHY ARE YOU JUST SITTING THERE AND NOT SAYING ANYTHING?! WHY ARENT YOU TRYING TO BRING HER BACK?!”</p><p>“BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK AM I TO TRY AND TAKE HER DREAM AWAY FROM HER?!!!” At this point, the tears started flowing out of Karin’s eyes. Two weeks worth of frustration and loneliness were pouring out of her and Kasumi was baring witness to it, taking it all in silence. She had never seen this side of Karin before.</p><p>“SHE MOVED ALL THE WAY FROM HER HOME IN SWITZERLAND JUST TO CHASE AFTER THIS DREAM SHES HAD SINCE SHE WAS A KID AND NOW SHE HAS A CHANCE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN! THIS ASSOCIATION IS HANDING HER A GOLDEN TICKET TO HER DREAM! A TICKET TO THE LIFE SHES WANTED! AND YOU AND I KNOW GODDAM WELL THAT IF I SAY ANYTHING AT ALL, I WILL BE TEARING THAT TICKET INTO A MILLION PIECES! IM NOT DOING THAT TO EMMA! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?!!!”</p><p>Evidently, that was all Karin had left to say before she started quietly sobbing and shaking in frustration. She then slid her back against the wall until she was sitting on the floor, her hands covering her face as she continued sobbing.</p><p>Kasumi just stood there staring at her, instantly regretting everything she had said up to that point. She knew deep down that Karin was right and that she was just being petty. </p><p>“Karin...” Kasumi then knelt down to try and ease Karin’s worries with a hug. But Karin swatted her hands away, clearly still upset with her. Kasumi just stared at the floor feeling even worse now.</p><p>“I-I’m sorry.” Karin’s voice was barely above a whispered and she spoke in hiccuped sobs, but Kasumi could still hear her clear as day. “I’m sorry I ignored how much you were hurting. And I didn’t mean to call you all those things.” </p><p>“No. I had it coming. I was completely out of line and deserved all of that, especially this slap.” Kasumi could still feel the stinging sensation from her face as she put her hand to the spot Karin had slapped her.  </p><p>Kasumi tried to give Karin a hug again, and this time succeeded. Karin didn’t resist one bit, she just buried her face in her knees as she continued sobbing. </p><p>
“They probably miss us- just as much as we miss them.” Karin was struggling to recompose herself and calm down before anyone else saw her like this.
</p><p>
“Yeah. I’m sure they do.” Kasumi didn’t know what she could say to Karin, but knows that she was very likely right about this too.

</p><p>“They’ll be back. And when they are, they’ll be school idols we can be proud of.” Karin hiccuped, face still buried in her knees. </p><p>“Yeah.” Kasumi softly replied. She knew Karin was right about this. It sucked not having them all together, but that wouldn’t last forever. Someday, they’d all be standing on the same stage again, proud of each other for how much they’d grown. It just sucked that that day wouldn’t come for a while. It also sucked knowing that one of her friends was hurting so much, but could do nothing but grin and bare it for her girlfriend.
</p><p>—————————</p><p>
Emma was on the other side of the door and heard nearly everything. Instantly her chest began hurting and she felt a lump in her throat. The knowledge that she and the others had been causing their friends this much pain was too much to bare, especially when she was hurting Karin. 
</p>
<p>
However, she was now extremely conflicted about what to do next. She wanted to come back, more than anytime-just as Karin had said-but she knew Karin would probably be beating herself up about this and view herself as a burden. And Emma didn’t want Karin to be stuck thinking like that forever. 
</p>
<p>
So, she headed back to the dorm, now even more determined to become an idol they could be proud of, so that none of them would feel like a burden. As she slumped into her bed, she drifted off and dreamed of both her past and future with Karin, standing on the same stage smiling brightly. That day wouldn’t be tomorrow, obviously, but Emma cried tears of both joy and sorrow knowing that she would make it a reality. This was a dream worth working towards with everything she had.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Karin comes to see Emma during her first show as part of the association. Kasumi begrudgingly comes along.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey Karin! Hey Kasumi! Didn’t expect to see you here!” Ai grinned, clad in her famous idol outfit. “Oh, do I see Roses?”</p><p>
“They-they’re for Emma.” Although everyone knew Emma and Karin were girlfriends, it still made Karin flustered whenever they acted so cutesy about it. 
</p>
<p>
However that wasn’t the only thing that had her in a nervous mood. It had been another week since she and Emma had been able to see each other properly. But the few times they did bump into each other, Emma seemed more distant than usual, almost as if she were avoiding Karin. Weirdly enough, she’d also been acting this way around the others, especially Kasumi. 
</p>
<p>
Karin worried that she had inadvertently said or done something to make Emma so standoffish and was deserved to put things right, whatever it was.
</p>
<p>
“I’ll go get her!” Ai than darted off to find Emma so that Karin could hand her the flowers. 
</p>
<p>
“I’m telling you Karin, it’s in your head.” Kasumi crossed her arms and had a worried look on her face. She knew that Karin was worried about things with Emma but was absolutely confident there was nothing to fear. 
</p>
<p>
“I know Emma, Kasumi. She’s never been so standoffish and I know I did something to upset her.”
</p>
<p>
Kasumi just sighed. “Even if she were mad at you, you and I both know that this is something that can be fixed. You two are soulmates and whatever MIGHT be happening isn’t gonna tear you both apart.”
</p>
<p>
“I sure hope you’re right.”
</p>
<p>
Just than they turned around and heard footsteps from behind them. They turned around and were greeted with Light Pink hair tied into two buns on the side of her head and a Red Chinese style dress. This was Lanzhu Zhong.
</p>
<p> 
Instantly, Karin felt very uneasy looking at her, and so did Kasumi. On the few occasion in the last few weeks Karin and Emma had spoken, she had talked about Lanzhu. Emma never had anything truly negative to say about her, outside of her being a little awkward and dedicated to her work to a rather extreme level. However in this moment, Karin could sense an overwhelming aura of confidence and power. And it only got stronger when she noticed them and started walking towards them. Even the way she walked had Karin on edge, it was just as confident as that look in her eyes.
</p>
<p>
“Oh hello there! Karin Asaka, right? And you must be Kasumi Nakasu?”
</p>
<p>
“U-uhm, yes. I am.” Karin raised her arm to shake Lanzhu’s, doing everything in her power to stop quivering like a jellyfish. “I’m guessing Emma’s told you about me?”
</p>
<p>
“Oh she’s always been talking about you! Don’t worry, only nice things!” She chuckled. Karin felt she was trying to be sweet and sincere here, but she was still so intimidating. Kasumi just stood there in silence, a weird mix of fear and slight anger and resentment stewing in her mind. 
</p>
<p>
“S-so, umm, she’s going on soon?”
</p>
<p>
“Don’t worry, she’s not first. She’ll have plenty of time to catch up with you and tell you what she’s been up to. And let me tell you, she’s really been giving it her all!”
</p>
<p>
“Yeah. I’m sure she has.” Karin stared off behind Lanzhu, feeling an odd sense of sadness and joy. She knew she had made the right choice in not saying anything to Emma and knew it was paying off, but it also hurt knowing Emma wasn’t by her side as often.
</p>
<p>
“Of course, so has everyone else. Which is why I’m hoping you’ll stick for the whole show and cheer us on as we blow the audience away with our performances! Emma isn’t the only one who’s been working hard after all!” Lanzhu sounded prouder now than she was moments before, a slight hint of smugness in her voice but nothing too noticed or offensive. However Karin did take issue with the implication Lanzhu made, in that she only missed Emma. While she of course was sad that a few others in their club had gone to the association, her sub-unit partner being another one of them, it was undeniable that Emma’s just happened to hurt the most. But she had just met Lanzhu and decided to chalk this up to one of those cases of awkwardness Emma had mentioned. “Once the show’s over, they’ll never have anything bad to say about us ever again.” 
</p>
<p>
“Karin? Kasumi?” All three of them looked around to see Emma, clad in her Swiss inspired idol outfit.
</p>
<p>
Loudly, Lanzhu clasped her hands together. “And, that’s my cue to leave for now! Emma, you have fun catching up with your girlfriend! See you lovebirds around! You too Kasumi!” And Lanzhu sauntered off, leaving the two of them in awe. 
</p>
<p>
“H-hi Emma!” Karin snapped out of her awestruck gaze and turned to face Emma. “These are for you!” She then quickly held the roses to Emma. 
</p>
<p>
“Oh, thank you Karin. They’re so beautiful.” Emma was trying to not act so awkwardly around Karin but ultimately gave in. “Uhm, Karin, can we go talk somewhere? You too Kasumi?”
</p>
<p>
Karin felt her stomach drop. She had thought she would be able to patch up any issues she had with Emma, but that instantly flew out the window. “Yeah, ok.” 
</p>
<p>
They soon made their way to the recording studio and were met with Mia fiddling away with various buttons and knobs on her fancy looking board. She was also wearing headphones, so she didn’t notice the trio coming in right away. But she eventually did and waved at them, albeit with a somewhat monotone expression. 
(She’s like Rina) Karin and Kasumi thought to themselves.
</p>
<p>
“Hey Mia, would you be so kind as to give us about 5 minutes alone?” 
</p>
<p>
“Sure, whatever.” She snatched her iPod and took off, closing the door to the room granting them privacy. But once she was gone, the room fell into a very awkward and uncomfortable silence. It was thankfully broken very soon.
</p>
<p>
“So, first show, eh?” Karin tried to keep the conversation on Emma and her work for now before moving on to something else.
</p>
<p>
“Yes. But, I’m going last. Last for best after all. At least that’s what everyone’s been telling me.” Emma was getting even more nervous. She tried her best to stay as calm and composed as she could, but it was not easy.
</p>
<p>
“You’re all having fun right?” Kasumi spoke up, a nervous and worried tone in her voice.
</p>
<p>
“Mhm! Definitely!” Emma tried her best to sound cheerful, but she began shaking. And Karin could swear she saw tears forming in her eyes.
</p>
<p>
“E-Emma?! Are you ok?!”
</p>
<p> 
That was more than enough for Emma. The next thing she knew her arms had flown across Karin and were holding her tightly as she began to sob softly. Karin was even more worried and scared now, but reciprocated the hug in an effort to make Emma feel better despite still not knowing what was going on. Kasumi joined in, gently patting her back.
</p>
<p>
“I’m sorry Karin! I’m so sorry!” She looked up at Karin. Her voice was breaking and tears were streaming down here eyes. This almost made Karin start crying herself, but she was acting on instincts and her instincts were telling her to stay calm and help Emma through whatever was troubling her.
</p>
<p>
“Emma, please. Whatever’s going on, talk to us.”
</p>
<p>
“I-I overheard your fight with Kasumi last week!” Karin’s blood ran cold. “I promise I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop! I was just getting my wristbands but-“
</p>
<p>
“I’m sorry you heard that Emma. I’m sorry.” Karin choked on her words. Now, she was starting to cry. Kasumi just stood there, once more feeling guilty knowing she had caused her idol mates such stress.
</p>
<p>
“I miss you guys, I really do! And I miss you a lot Karin! I miss us not being able to spend so much time together!”
</p>
<p>
“I miss you a lot too Emma!” The two of them just hugged each other, sobbing out their feelings until they were too tired to. They than took each other’s faces into their hands and kissed each other. It was long and full of love. 
</p>
<p>
“I’m sorry too Emma.” Kasumi spoke up from behind them, a sad look on her face. “I was being stupid when I said all those mean things about you. But Karin helped me see sense.”
</p>
<p>
Emma just hugged her idol mate.
</p>
<p>
“I do miss you a lot Emma, but if you need more time to stay in here, than go for it. I’ll be waiting for you and cheering you on all the while.” Karin and Kasumi smiled at Emma. 
</p>
<p>
“Thank you Karin. I promise you, when I come back we’ll all put on an amazing show together!”
</p>
<p>
“I love you Emma.”
</p>
<p>
“I love you too Karin.”
</p>
<p> 
With no other words between them. They kissed each other again. It was longer than the last kiss, but full of just as much love if not more. And once they broke away, they stood there, in each other’s warm embrace.
</p>
<p>
Karin wasn’t looking forward to tomorrow, when she and Emma would be far too busy to say hi to each other and hang out. But she was happy to be able to hold Emma in her arms, and to have Emma hold her back. She knew that in time, this would all be over and Emma would be an idol they could all be proud of.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Welp, didn’t expect to make a second chapter but here we are. This is very likely the only other chapter for this thing.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Season 2 of SIFAS has been making me feel things. Almost never good things. This is a result of some of the not good things.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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